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April 19th, 2005
03:31 pm
Just a thought: The smell of one you love is a really great source of inspiration to getting off.
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April 13th, 2005
05:53 pm
Well as it turns out, Bryan and I are okay. Although I'm not sure if it was because he was never mad at me in the first place, or he just dropped it altogether because that's something that I wouldn't put past him and his passive-aggresive tendencies. Last night I was making dinner when he came home and I invited him to join me, so that made him happy right off the bat, since he's been eating a lot of the same crap and usually by himself. It was so sad when he pulled out a stem last night and we attempted to smoke it! You know you're lazy when you're too lazy to go out of your way to buy some damn weed!
So anyway, last night we were talking and I brought up the idea I came up with recently to move to Long Beach area. Funny thing was, he'd been thinking about it too since the day before Jeanelle joked that he should just move in since he's there all the time. Then she seriously suggested that Bryan and I move down there. Strange how we were both thinking along the same track... I was thinking maybe Belmont shores. I think it's a really cool area and on top of that Bryan would get to be closer to Jeanelle and Joanne so he's not as lonely when I'm away. It would be nice to have some good friends in the same neighborhood. On top of that it's a doable work commute and I'd have people to possibly carpool with. And of course I would get a lovely drive down PCH to see Jason in Newport. The more we talked about it the more we both started to really like the idea. So I think I might be moving to Long Beach next. Good times.
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April 12th, 2005
12:07 pm
Hung out at Joanne and Jeanelle's on Friday night without Jason, which just about killed me. He was hanging out with his friend Damon who just got back from Europe so I stayed the night there. There were about a dozen people there playing pool and getting drunk. I absolutely love their new loft. Unfortunately I had to sleep on the floor because Bryan is a baby and couldn't just let me sleep on the armchairs downstairs. Joanne's cousin Jason (who is gay and always likes to ask Bry intrusive questions about his sexuality) had already claimed the couch upstairs and I was sitting on one armchair downstairs ready to pull up a second when Bryan started up a bitchfest because he had to sleep on the floor upstairs where Jeanelle had set up some blankets for him. Then he kept whining until I went to sleep up there with him, I think because he didn't want to be up there alone with Jason. When I got up there and Jason saw I was going to sleep on the floor he offered me the couch and he would sleep on the floor with Bryan but I knew Bryan would KILL me so I declined. Now that I think about it, it is kind of funny that Jason didn't offer to take the armchairs downstairs instead. Maybe Bryan's paranoia isn't unfounded...
The next day Joanne, my Jason, Damon and I were supposed to go to an Artwalk in Long Beach while Bryan was at work, then go to a bar when he got off. Except I lost the invite that a coworker gave me, so I had no idea where we were supposed to go and couldn't find any info on it online. So instead Jason, Damon and I went down to Laguna Beach for the day and hung out. I talked to Joanne and she said she was kinda tired considering we were up all night Friday and was staying home while I decided to just go to a bar in Orange. This was unbeknownst to Bryan who was still expecting to go out. When I called him to see what he was doing he said he was at the grocery store getting water and that he had gotten the next day off because he thought we were going out, but then Joanne and I both flaked on him. He sounded pissed he had nothing to do.
I was gone all day Sunday and wasn't home until after work Monday night. He wasn't home so I figured he was still at work. He was still gone at ten when I went to sleep. Finally at two I woke up to use the bathroom and heard him out in the living room. When I got out of the bathroom I heard him turn off the TV and go to bed. I think he might still be mad at me for a bad weekend. It's unusual that he would go out somewhere and not call me at the very least to tell me where he would be. I haven't talked to him yet, so I guess I'll see when he gets home from work later.
On the good news front I just got my last English essay back and I got an A+. In the teacher's comments she said "I'm excited to see how you will approach gender in our next book". Also my boss Tina asked me if I would be interested in learning to take on shipments when I start working full time because I'm "self-motivated". That's quite a promotion and more importantly a raise. I would love to be an agent, plus that job would be so much more interesting than what I'm doing now. Is it okay if I'm proud of myself right now?
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April 7th, 2005
12:05 pm
I take you in
yet am taken
A lone and foreign body
bordered by mountains unmovable
and still you give me no choice
but to be invaded
conquered
but not destroyed
This is no sojourn
I watch you enter to occupy me
A soldier
sliding in the night
slipping in to corrupt me
A long, slick
and stiffened snake
that comes in the eve
of my dismantling
Comes in the depth of dark
to tempt me
Leaves battlescars
as evidence of our clashings
Christen my land with bruises
and I'll shake
The walls of my fortress
will break before the dawn
I'll shake
succumb to your marching armies
as they travel
over my hills and valleys
Reap my bounties
the fruits of my soil
The wealth of my springs
will flow over you
I will adore you
whilst you share your violent gift
I will adore you
whilst you acquire me
I am your country
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March 29th, 2005
11:48 am
So this last weekend went very well. Had friday off so while Jason was at work I went to my mom's house and hung out with my brother and he helped me make a compilation CD for Jason. It was a very good mix if I do say so myself: some Billie Holiday, Elvis and Weezer of course with a mosaic of pictures on the case. He really liked it.
Saw my dear friend Kevin Kieta, who was in town for Easter weekend. We didn't get to hang out much, but it was fun while it lasted. Plus Jason was there, so I know we didn't get to talk about important things going on with him. I know he's kinda crazy and stressed out right now, just generally unhappy with is life I guess. He's all by himself up in Sonoma though, he made it sound as though he didn't really have anyone to talk to. I feel bad that I haven't been around for him for the past couple of years, at least not keeping as much contact with him as I should have.
Sunday was the day we went to Jason's parents house, who live all the way out in BF Hemet. I was kind of shy at first but they were very nice people, a very warm and funny type of family. They joke a lot. His mom seems like a really smart, strong lady so I can see how Jase turned out so well. On the drive back he told me that his impression was that they all liked me, because otherwise they wouldn't have been so nice. Apparently his sister likes me because she was nice enough to invite us to her work later that night and treat us to dinner.
When we got home his dad called to tell him how much his parents both liked me, that I was a "beautiful girl" and they felt really comfortable around me (I listened to the whole conversation on Jason's shoulder). He went on and on about how Jason shouldn't have shown me all those pictures with all the girls he used to date. That I was being very accommodating at the time but he shouldn't have shown them to me regardless because "women are sensitive to things". Besides that he should move on from the past like he did for Jason's mother (apparently the man had a very busy sex-life) and think of settling down. He said Jason was getting older and that I could be his "chance". Either at love or impregnation I'm not sure.
I thought that was hilarious he was looking out for me so much, if only he'd known that I'd already watched Jason's homemade porno... I also have to admit I wanted to see pictures of his high school sweetheart, Olivia. Olivia's mother has been calling him lately because she thinks her daughter is depressed living in Miami by herself and thinks bringing Jason back in the picture and getting her to move back home will solve that. Jason kept assuring me that he didn't want to have anything to do with it and after seeing the pictures of her I wasn't so nervous about it anyway (does that make me a bad person?). Still, I am annoyed that the lady called him twice this weekend while I was with him, because she's overstepping her boundaries. I understand that all she's thinking about is her daughter but it's still disrespectful to Jason and I because he told her about me and that he's in a very committed relationship. I think the lady is nuts.
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March 24th, 2005
08:10 am - Has the weirdest dream last night
It involved my little brother, his friend, my grandmother and I. For some reason we went to the house of Mr. Jellyneck(from "Strangers with Candy"). He had made this strawberry pie we all knew had parts of a human in it. So we were all a little weirded out but we all tried a piece of the pie anyway. It tasted like a pretty normal pie. I remember wanting to ask for another piece but I was afraid that everyone would think I was weird. I guess because I thought they all tried it for the novelty and I was afraid to show I actually liked it. Then we traveled to the home of some cannibalistic tribe that gave him the recipe and were all shot at with arrows. Fuckin' weird, dude.
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March 23rd, 2005
01:45 pm
Had a very strange weekend. Friday went out to dinner with Jason and his friend from Arkansas, Andy, who just may be the only Asian in all of Arkansas. That's a lot of A's. Ring 2 was sold out so we saw "Constantine" which was actually decent, probably because I had such low expectations. Saturday we drove to places in Huntington Beach, showing Andy around because he plans on moving down here soon. We ended up meeting Joanne, Jeanelle and Bryan at Detroit Bar and Jason's other friend Jason showed up. Got shit faced and went back to Jason 2's house to crash and ended up fighting with Jason for no reason, then called a taxi to come get me and take me to Joanne's resulting in drunken Jason breaking my cell phone. That was a very dramatic night...but make-up sex can be so damn good, especially when you have the added thrill of doing it in someone else's bed and drunk. Sunday was hung over until Jason and I went to dinner with mi familia for the joint birthday celebration for my dad and sister. All in all a pretty fun weekend.
This week was my spring break, so I switched my work schedule so I have Friday off to hang with Kevin Keita, who's in town for Easter. Saturday I'm going out with more family for another birthday celebration and then Sunday I'm going to dinner with Jason's family. I'm a little anxious about meeting them, but I think they'll like me. I'm more nervous about meeting his sister really, who is the same age as me and from what I understand hasn't really liked a lot of his past girlfriends, although they've tended to be more prissy than me. And that is pretty much a rundown of this past week all spewed out in one breath.
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March 17th, 2005
11:44 am - train of thought
Recently I was walking across campus to my second class of the day when I noticed in the quad some people standing around with boards that had pictures on them. I could tell without having to see them that they were pictures of aborted fetuses and put up for all to see by a group of pro-life activists. Normally this would upset me. It's easy to write off pro-lifers as religious fanatics and clinic bombing hypocrites. Then I actually sat and thought about why they show us these offensive images. If I was an environmental activist I would present people with disturbing pictures of beached whales and the like to shock people into hearing my message too. So I decided if this whole pro-life movement gets less people to accept abortion as such an easy option than I am all for it. It seems a lot of women involved in this movement are ones that have experienced an abortion and then weren't able to handle the thoughts and guilt they had about it afterward. A lot of them make a rash decision to have an abortion because they rationalize that it's the only way it can be dealt with and only then come to realize the full extent of it's repercussions.
It got me to thinking about what I were to do if Jason and I got pregnant, and if I thought mentally I would be able to handle an abortion. I think if I were to get pregnant by anyone else that I would have one, especially if I didn't really want anything to do with the other person. However I would like to think that most women, if they decide to have sex with people they don't care about, would at least protect themselves enough so it wouldn't happen in the first place. I still believe the choice should be there, but I don't think that women are prepared enough to comprehend how it's going to affect them afterward. A lot more has to go into that, I don't think it's as widely discussed as it should be. Maybe I'll go into sex education... just a thought.
"God forbid" I should get pregnant now, especially since I take the preventative measures, but I think that if I were to get pregnant by Jason I would have it. It wouldn't be the easiest thing to do, but I can't imagine what it would be like to kill something that is part of him. Which is a really big deal considering I've always had this almost overwhelming fear of pregnancy. The concept of it has always been so strange to me, like having your body invaded by something foreign, though it's supposed to be the most natural thing on earth. I guess because I've always looked at it as alien it would seem very easy to terminate a pregnancy, but now thinking about having someone to create another living being with that I care so much about I've gained a different perspective. I think it could be something very beautiful. I decided to tell him about this revelation and it made him very happy, almost to the point of tears that I could tell him all that and finally be open about a subject that I have made taboo up until now. I'm not gonna run off and have any kids just yet because of all this, but it's definitely a new road for me to be thinking this way and it makes me feel good.
Also I got my "Beloved" essay back today. After all the bullshit and freaking out the weekend I was trying to get it done (it seemed everything in the world was trying to keep me from getting it done- like a Clippers game) I got... an A-. Not too bad. Yay school. I like it.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/indescribable_sr.gif) indescribable
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June 30th, 2003
12:29 pm - Weekly transmission:
This past week was a pretty good week. Didn't see much of Bob and Lisa though, I think they were at her house screwing like bunnies because her parents were out of town. Speaking of bunnies... The Rabbit- best vibrator EVAR, thanks for the recommendation ;) So anyway, Nad came over on Tuesday and we hung out for a bit, but then I went to Alcatraz with Erica, Brian and Lauren. (Sidenote, Brian has officially come out as bisexual, though we are all convinced that it's just a subtler way of coming out if we think he still likes girls. Nuh uh, just a stop on the road to gay-ville. I'm glad he told us though.) I didn't know Lauren was coming so I thought it was going to be a little awkward since I hadn't seen her since Adrie had "broken up" with Erika and I and she's still friends with her but things went really well actually. When we did end up talking about it Lauren confirmed that in my case it was pretty much a build up of things between Adrie and I, that she felt that I gang up with Erika against her. Probably other things with Mitcz too but Lauren didn't mention that, it's pretty much just my suspicions. She invited me to come dance at her club with her and I thought that was pretty cool, whether I take her up on the offer though is a different story. After dinner, came home and hung out with Erika, giving her a catalogue and some sex advice because the girl just doesn't enjoy sex. Yup, that's pretty fucked up.
Worked Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, so those are pretty much a blur.
Saturday Mitcz and I went to my annual family reunion. Whoo hoo, fun on-a-stick. I was obligated to go so I decided to drag Mitcz along with me if I was going to have to suffer. Afterwards I went to Erika's to meet up with Lauren and Brian because we were going to go to BANG! in Hollywood. Unfortuneately Lauren decided to flake and not call us about it so we got on the road pretty late. The five was gridlock from Pico on, so we just said fuck it and decided to go to the Boogie. When we got there the parking lot was pretty full and there was still a congestion of cars waiting to get in so we finally decide to take up an offer from Erika's friend to go to this new bar in Fullerton, where he is the bar manager. After this band Sucky Mc LocJaw plays, the place pretty much clears out, so Mike puts 80's music on for us to dance to. Apparently they are going to start an 80's night every Tuesday so he wants to give Erika and I a tab to go out there and shake our asses so people begin to think of it more like a club unlike the bar that was there before this one. Sounds like an offer to me, granted I'm not a lush or anything... I swear! And in other news I think I will be getting a new car pretty soon here, at the very least before I start school again in the fall. Invader Cel, signing off.
Current Mood: my butt hurts
Current Music: none
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June 21st, 2003
12:12 pm - hee
Barbie Got Back! Go you! You're the closest thing
ever to a true black Barbie. Shake that fat
ass of yours.
If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
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12:02 pm - woo hoo
You are Fetish Dita!
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11:45 am - One thing I DON'T like about the apartment...
The people upstairs. They've got like three young kids and they play Spanish music A LOT. grrr. Let's get them evicted, yes? okay maybe not.
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June 19th, 2003
02:29 pm - Look at me, I'm ZIM
I took one of Bob's gifs fo' myself, I'm soo happeeeee! In other news I got up really late today. Mitcz got up before I did! *gasp* He went to go do something for those Secured Entry dudes, they have a new office in Newport or something. So I'm bored and by myself, although I will start to work on some new tops I was designing, because I have all this fabric that I never used sitting in my closet, so I decided to make stuff out of them finally, probably some bags too. I got a cool new suitcase for work that's red, so I put a nurse Bettie sticker on it to make it cooler and a new outfit from Hot Topic to put in it! Yay! I attempted to buy an Invader Zim poster, but unfortunately I picked up the wrong one (maybe it was in the wrong slot?) and walked away with a "Strawberry Shortcake" one instead, which would otherwise be cool if I had any interest in her at all, but I never even watched the cartoon Or if I did I don't remember it- which probably means it wasn't that cool anyway. Care Bears were better. And then TMNT and Ghostbusters came along... those were the days. I was in Kindergarten when those were cool, because I remember I used to play with all boys and I was always April O'Neill or Janine from Ghostbusters.
Almost done decorating the apartment. My room is done and for the most part the living room is too except for getting the couch reupholstered. The bathroom is done in all pin up girls and I'm extending that them to the sink area. After that it's getting the kitchen and Mitcz's office area taken care of. Maybe I will make it a zim kitchen...hmm? Either that or I was thinking a sort of cult classics sci-fi sort of spin on it. We'll see.
Anyhoo, gotta eat before I go to work later, so I'm gonna go get some teriyaki chicken! MMM mm.
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June 18th, 2003
June 11th, 2003
06:47 pm - Well look what the cat dragged in...
Jeezus it's been so long since I've updated this godforsaken thing, but I guess that's a good thing because someone out there has been saved from hearing about my boring life. Hah, too bad now eh motherfucker? Things have been pretty good lately, the new apartment is working out really well and the jobs have been keeping me busy. The plan is to start school this fall and lose the Mimi's gig (That is if my procrastination gland doesn't kick in) I'm thinking SAC, so's I can go to school with Lisa.
Still never get down to working on any of my art tho, there's so much I leave unfinished. When I think about that I get this really funny feeling like a kid that's not doing his homework or something. Like I know that I should be getting it done but at the same time refuse to do it. For the most part I'm pretty tired and when I do have time I think of everything I can possibly do except for that, but it's mostly fun shit anyway. So many pieces left undone but I do have a lot of projects in mind for the apartment, so at least I have some inspiration for now.
Been hanging out with Bob and Lisa a lot, especially since we moved out because now we have somewhere comfortable to be. Though, last night was spent hanging out at Bob's last night with crazy Disneyland people taking incriminating pictures and having religious debate until 2 in the morning. It always worries me when Mitcz starts talking with people about religion, I fear that someone will just take him the wrong way, get offended and beat the shit out of him because of their frustration with their own lack of faith or knowledge.
I'm really happy with him right now. We've grown together in a lot of different ways. I don't pull my neurotic bullshit on him nearly as much anymore ;)
And for a certain someone out there, I know you will be so envious (if you still bother checking this at all that is) to know that I bought all the Invader Zim episodes on DVD. I found it on eBay, it was like, $20 for two (One for me one for my brother who's birthday is coming up) I got them today and will commence in watching them later tonight. HA HA you jealous worm-baby. 'Till next time....
OBEY THE FIST!
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September 9th, 2002
08:05 pm - Crazy Mikey test...
| You Are: |
 |
| A lunchroom staple, everyone enjoys the way you slide down their throat without much effort. Your bubbly personality leaves a sticky residue on the top of everyone's mouth that keeps them coming back for more! You're a champ. |
Take the quiz - from IHateYourFace.com
Quiz created by  jcald89 and mikeylove
IHateYourFace.com
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August 21st, 2002
10:43 pm
Well, this past week was pretty fuckin cool. We had that fatty party over here on Friday and I would say all went well. No bad vibes, no stolen property or anything like that. And it was upwards of sixty people here at the house and the cops never showed up once, so I would say it was successful. People were getting pretty loud too, with naked people in the pool and jacuzzi, lap dances, I don't even know what else. Perhaps I can get pictures of that up in here too. The next day Mikey had people over here too for a DeviantArt meet, but mostly I just hung out with Mitcz and went to the movies. As of Sunday it's been all work, work, work.
Speaking of which, I had officially been propositioned for a threesome as of yesterday by Rachel. It had been alluded to a couple times before, which I'm sure I mentioned here. Anyhoo, she was saying that she wanted to do it the once for her husbands birthday, something about watching, but I still knew Mitcz would be happy with that regardless of what her husband was doing in the room so I had to decline. It was kinda weird, kinda flattering I guess. It reminded me of that one episode of Sex and The City where they were talking about which of the four they would invite to have a threesome and Miranda got left out. Only I wouldn't be Miranda, of course. Flattered yeah, but her motivations behind it seem pretty silly- doing it for her husband, gah, whatever. She still wants to go on a little vacation for her birthday the weekend of the Sept 13 with girls from work.
I finally did get an e-mail response from my mother, and they're taking it really well. She gave me the usual about birth control and making living together...livable. Her main advice was to treat eachother with kindness and respect. Thanks for the understatement of the year, Mom. She means well, but if only she'd known that we've been successfully living together for the past nine months or so. Mitcz and I may have dinner with them on Friday and then on Saturday I'm going to yet another cousin's wedding. I've got too many of those. That's about it for now.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/sleepy_sr.gif) tired
Current Music: Pulp Fiction in the background
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August 14th, 2002
11:52 am - I'm scared
I just sent an email to my mother regarding the whole MItcz moving in. NOTE: that's not "Mitcz moving back into the house." So now that he's back I've decided there's no way that I can avoid coming clean... kinda. I'm a little nervous as to what my parent's reaction to this is going to be. I JUST WANT THEM TO BE COOL GODDAMMIT! Tell me, why can't my parents be cool? just chill? and why after being out of their house and out from under that iron fist do they still strike fear into the very heart of me? What is it about parents that leaves us with silly looks on our faces as we seek their approval?... Or maybe it's just me. All I can do is wait.
Last night there was a little drama regarding all the party planning. It all started with the decorations, or maybe it all started at Kinko's... I won't get into our petty little details and all the drama that goes along with us being the emotional women that we are, but I feel it was resolved. I've come to the conclusion: don't get involved if Adrie and Erika have anything to do with it. I end up becoming the middle man in a relationship where the kinks may never work themselves out, and it's silly to try. In the end it had a lot less to do with party decor, and a lot more to do with communication. Oh, the life lessons you learn from planning a panty party. Try saying that five times fast.
Speaking of panty parties... it will be possible for me to get some of the pictures that were taken backstage on Saturday and post them here. YAY, cuz they turned out hella kewl. They were all artistic and shit, it reminded me of nerve. Alrighty, gonna attempt to get off my ass and clean, we'll see what happens.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/achy_sr.gif) anxious
Current Music: enjoy the silence
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August 12th, 2002
10:33 pm
This past week has been insane...MItcz coming back and everything. But more importantly it's been really fun. It was very odd having him back at first, I wasn't sure how I would feel when he got here. At first I thought it might just be some very very cruel joke which everyone else was in on but me, but luckily enough it wasn't. It was all just very surreal, it almost felt like I was living in a movie. This just doesn't happen in real life and as far as I was concerned I "knew" that I would never see Mitcz again. Screw the fact that even before he left he alluded to the thought that it may not be the end for us, I just thought he didn't want to leave me sad. But yeah, he's back and things are going insanely well for us. The future is wide open and now that there's no expiration date on our relationship, it feels fucking good. Everyone seems to be afraid for me, like he's just going to fuck me up, but I'm honestly not afraid of that right now, and I'm not going to pass up something that feels really good because it could be potentially damaging in the future. I tend to do this thing where I leap before I look, I open my mouth before I think about what I'm going to say and really when I do think about it, there is nothing that I would do that differently in my life, maybe I'll just keep riding that wave of comfort...
In other news Rocky Horror was this past Saturday and I had a blast. I think more people saw my ass that night than everyone in the past put together but it still felt good. It was fun, I put my more provocative side out there and it is pretty fun to dress up in costume and then get half naked. Good times. I'd do it again.
This friday is our underwear party at the house which finally seems like it's coming together. Especially after all the supposed "planning" we had been doing for it. I'm excited, I think the guys are too. Maybe we can get Mikey laid even :D I think it will be a fun time for all.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/hyper_sr.gif) bouncy
Current Music: Marcy Playground- Comin Up from Behind
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redzophiel's journal
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